Missing my girl.

Several weeks ago Sarah decided that she wanted to stay with her boyfriend.  She has gradually moved most of her things out of the house.  Little by little it's gone and her room looks like, well not her room.  And she's not here.  At first it was sort of nice.  Sarah is very temperamental and can be set off easily, so not having to deal with that has been nice, but she also makes me laugh and she's my girl.  And she's not here.  And I miss her.

Today she had a falling out with her boyfriend's grandfather (where her boyfriend lives) and she left there.  I told her to come home and she said she didn't want to.  I totally get why.  There are little kids here.  It's loud and noisy and rarely peaceful.  She's nearly 21 and wants to live her own life and there is a time when moms need to cut the cord already.  But to hear your child tell you that she doesn't want to live with you, well it's just not something I've ever heard and it stung a bit.  And I miss her.

She's gone to stay with her dad, which is actually nice.  He's got a house to himself and I know he's happy to have her and I think it'll be good for her to live with him for a while.  At least until she figures out what she wants to do with her life and then actually does it.  But I miss her.

I'm sure I'll get used to this arrangement and my relationship with her will be the same or even better, but right now I just really really miss her.